Music - An Interlude

Music is a spontaneous journey you take in an instant. It is a get up and go there right now type of trip. One of the hardest things to do is change the way you feel when you listen to 'your' song. You cannot so easily wipe away the stain of a melody that has penetrated the depths of your soul. Sometimes, maybe with time, it seems to fade, it is not as crisp as it was the first day that it married it's 'memory'. Maybe it is because you haven't played that song, on purpose, for such a long time, but it always creeps up on you, suddenly and without notice. You find yourself driving down the road, maybe just going to the store or a more significant trip, on your way to the airport going to see whom you think is the love of your life or maybe on your way to the church house where you will vow 'till death do you part', and that 'song' comes on. Immediately you are taken aback, to that place that once was, so golden; to that memory in which you could live for years to come, and you smile as you reminisce.


If you are in your car, you find yourself looking around as if everyone can hear it too, you sing along, knowing each and every word with exact timing. The images of those whom the song is forever registered to, come to the surface as you sigh and pause, missing a few lyrics here and there...You snap your fingers...slap your knee....scream your lungs out and maybe even a tear falls, but you smile and maybe along with the happiness or hurt that once was, contentment is a breath away.

Music is spiritual, it inspires our soul and stimulates our intellect unlike any other of our five senses. Music can make you take the long road home; the scenic route or make a quick detour. It can be a song of comrades, a song of a lost love, or one of family, but the series of musical notes that form a distinct unit touches you unlike another other. Music is free and ever flowing; it cannot be stopped by simply turning off the radio. Whether its a new song or oldie, it gives you stamina, at work, while driving, while working out or even going to bed. Going above and beyond so smoothly, music carries much weight. There can be a tune that may be soft on the ears, yet so heartfelt and moving, making the deepest of impacts ever so slightly.

We reminisce. We enjoy a good dance. We play that one song over and over and think of what could have been or once was. We drink, we eat, we laugh and we love because of music. Deep down inside we know that the production of this art has to come from the same emotional streets we walk on day and night. The melody brings with it the aroma of that unique blissful moment and we cannot help but experience again and again as we push 'playback'.

How much, how heavy, how responsible and at what price can we value our Music? Let's talk about influence, about inspiration, and about how important it is to sing along, to dance, to sit still and listen...and allow these melodies to drive us to our given destination...because it is there...that we, subliminally, want to be. Give me your thoughts as I write a continuing piece to this interlude, because music needs serious attention, more than just a few lyrics.
Music - An Interlude

What happens after Love?

Many of us get fascinated with the love stories, with the movies like "The Notebook" and "Serendipity" and get so engulfed by Hollywood that we forget about the reality of what Love really is. Love can be finding happiness in the person being loved. Love can be forgiving. Plain and simple, just forgiving. We can sometimes be so far from that. We can in turn become what we most of all said we would not be. We do the very things we said we wouldn't do. The number one reason for divorce is...(drumroll) marriage. Why? Because people that say "I do" are also saying, in mind, "I may not always do or don't." The very fidelity they committed to at the altar is the very one that they disregarded in the back of someone's den at a kid's birthday party, all just because they had an argument and couldn't see themselves being with their significant other for the next hour or day or so. Is love all the time lovely and rosey? No! Because love involves men! LOL. Ok,seriously.

How can we move forward? How can we get from the honeymoon and onto the reality of life, everyday life, from morning to night? How can we get beyond the fantasy that things will always be rosy and nothing will every smell bad even when its still good?

Please folks...give me your thoughts about what Real Love is?




What happens after Love?

Avoiding the 'we need to talk' conversation by Communicating

We tend to get frustrated with our significant others when there are problem that seem to be avoided intently. It is at this time that clear communication is especially needed. Our perception sometimes can conflict with our partner's, because we may think communication has happened when only a few words were exchanged, creating more confusion. So what are we supposed to do when things are to the extent that this 'talk' arises? How do we handle such a conversation or at this point, argument when we are nevertheless as frustrated as our significant other? Well, why not go backwards into it and let me state things that we need not do when you see this 'talk' in your rear view mirror or God forbid coming at you like a head on collision.



1. Do not run for cover but don't jump the gun either. Obviously it seems that you should know what the problem is if it got to the 'we need to talk' statement. So running for cover will only confirm further that you want to avoid the problem and relationship all together. Jumping into the conversation may also be interpreted as you just want to get it over with and its not something you want to take your time addressing, so pace carefully.

2. Consider the conversation, this will not be 'breezy' or something to handle with brevity. The box with the address "We need to talk" also has 'Handle with Care' because this conversation is fragile and can get messy really quickly. If not considered, this can eventually turn the relationship from a fracture, to a significant break, even turn terminal if not cared for properly.

3. Most of all, take that smirk off your face! Don't think this is something you can turn into a humorous setting, this is no time for jokes, these are important words that are about to be exchanged. On the other side of that coin, don't be too serious that you go into a 'thinking' coma and you don't say anything at all.

We all dread these types of talks, but if we care about our relationship it is most necessary to have it as soon as possible. Things left at that, with silence, become just that, left behind and become nothing, with the relationship spirally downward. Be serious about handling this type of conversation and put all your energy, thoughts and true feelings behind it. Soon enough, the conversation will end and hopefully the conclusion is one that both parties will be happy about. Maybe it'll become a memory that you can look back and laugh at. But beware, when this 'talk' is coming, it's no laughing matter. How would you handle it?

Avoiding the 'we need to talk' conversation by Communicating

How Love can Conquer

I am not walking on the beach

Any more than I can imagine

Being without love, denying it again

How could this happen?

I can't bear it

Anymore, my heart with darkness fills

At night, among the shadows, the lights, the thrills

Break my concentration on this loneliness I feel

I have walked away from the Light

Hardened to yearn it no more

Now Darkness is my pillow, my sleep is galling sheets

And the silence is loud, as in my mind, deep images seep

That have finally broken my youth's dreams

What is it with these things? What is it within me?

The glory is yet to be found

Yet I smile outside my frown

I'm coming up, on my way down

I am not walking on the beach anymore

Waves crash against me...I don't make a sound

I have swallowed my downfall…

As you can tell the picture is far from the images written in this piece that is rather dark, looking back at it, maybe my feelings about love at that time were not as optimistic. As I reflect on my writings, victory doesn't not seem as distant as it was that day, many years ago. My feeling of loneliness, emptiness, even remorse, do not come back to me, yet I am reminded by these words. At that time walking away was easy, giving up was the only option that did not hurt, and living on the dark side was all the living I thought I knew. If it was easy anybody could do it. Anyone can walk away, anyone can give up and anyone can die while yet living. They say life's a bitch because if it was a slut, it'd be easy. Seriously, yet Love...

Even at the times, love can seem so far away from reality, it is still there. When you cannot feel it, nor sense it, and it seems to be nothing solid you can grasp, it is there. It seems hard yet simple to come by. Because when you are loved unconditionally, it allows you to love unconditionally. When you are forgiven, it frees you to forgive. When you are accepted, you want to accept. Love transforms and love conquers.

Maybe those fairytaled stories you heard about love fall no where near the definition that you've come to today, or the near future. But everyone goes through the fire. Everyone has a trial and tribulation that seems it is never ending and without solution. Yet it is that fire, it is that trial, maybe even tragedy that allows us to cherish that which was hurt or lost. For today, posting this piece, is liberating because when it seemed like I'd lost everything and was drowning...yet, Love never fails!

I have posted this again, because as in life, things seem to go in circles and sometimes we tend to go through some of those things we've gone through before, as if we didn't learn from it the first time, or second.

This is more on my personal side because first, I am human, then I am a writer. In order to have been conquered by Love and have the victory, we have to go through a little something, something. As I said, at times, we have to go through it again to re-focus, if you will.

I wanted to post this again because at this time of the year, it is always good to look back and sigh, then enjoy the victory we've had over our trials and tribulations.

How Love can Conquer

Love, let me count the ways...

When someone suggests to you they're smarter than you, they're obviously not. Because if they were, they’d know not to tip you off to that fact, thus putting you on your guard. This is true in in love as well as life, where, at minimum, you don’t want people to feel they’re not as smart as you, for no other reason than it may make them feel grumpy and insecure, and then not be open to your views and ideas.

With that in mind, let me never claim to be smarter than anyone, and let me underscore the point by listing the “Top 3 Ways I’m Dumb at Love.” I hope to demonstrate through this exercise in honesty that honesty, even painful honesty, is a conscientious lover's/spouses friend, not foe. Here, then, is my list...



1. Just do it!

Everyone knows the Nike saying, "Just do it!" and at one time I'm sure Tiger sponsored it, or they sponsored him, anyways, that is out of bounds. Sometimes we jump into love too fast. This is not healthy folks. We want our knight in shiny armor to come rescue us, but we seem to jump on a lot of horses on certain knights and come up short. While receiving love and accepting it, we have to be calm in all instances and not jump into any situation with our logic goggles off.

2. Keep the streak going.

Sometimes things are going so well that you avoid the little mishaps and signs. We have to stop and read the signs. We have to know where we are going. And we have to communicate that to our potential partner, not just keep it going for the sake of keeping it going. Now there are times that having fun is the only thing on the agenda, but don't interpret fun with love.

3. Stop while you're ahead.

There are many times that you will have gotten all the juice out of the relationship or perhaps fling and you have to know when it has run dry. For example, during intimacy,it is to neither partners' benefit that things are dry because it will hurt both of them no matter how far you want to keep going. So in other words, do not go all in just because the odds are good, analyze the situation and if it is not going to end well no matter what you do, then carefully end things. If things are getting bad and you know it, don't keep things going for common courtesy, communicate the differences and mutually walk away, no need to throw all your energy and morals away with it.

Tell me what are some of the signs that you notice when things aren't going to end well. If we believe in love at first sight, do we need to completely ignore our common sense? Once in love, do we openly deny what our needs are if not met? And most of all, if we fall under the submission of good physical loving, do we ignore all the other emotional stuff? Give me your thoughts and experiences...it's been a long time..since I left you..without a dope thought to step to...so step right up, Love's on the way!

Love, let me count the ways...

Breaking down how a man listens

The previous post was a bit serious, just to dilute that theme...here's a bit of a rattlesnake. Women are like phones. They love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected! Yeah, just like a bad phone connection, "can you hear me now? can you hear me now?" No, men can't hear you now, unless you come with some clear communication, and boldly say what mean. Men do not decipher gestures or hints. You can't ask a man a question and expect him to answer and at the same time come to a conclusion as to why you asked that question in the first place. Common sense, for men in reference to women is foreign; like what kind of tampons to buy when women send us to the store. He's thinking, "is she going to be riding a horse, on jet ski's, or maybe going sky diving?" How should men figure that out?

Men do not have a Jedi mind trick. Men are more like a cup of Haagen daz that slowly creeps up on your thighs, cool and delicious at first and before you know it, bam! your jean don't come all the way up. You see men coming a mile away. What you see is what you get and it does not get any better. If the man you meet happens to be in a transition, that may be the only upgrade you get. Men are not salvage cars ready to be refurbished and or the damage fixed. Men want their love scars to show. Why do men what to get that credit?


It's like a little boy, when he falls and gets that scar, it makes him look tough. He can now has a story to tell and a battle scar to show for it. Men want to be consoled and pampered when hurt, but they also want the glory of going through that pain.

The male species work on a reward basis. Give men a problem, they fix it, they get rewarded. Men paid close attention when the teacher was talking about rewards and shiny star stickers in grade school. Making it plain, give men a mission to accomplish and they are all over it, but ask us a question about how they feel about a certain touchy subject and you lost them at 'feel'.


Communication between the male and female gender should not be as difficult. Here is a suggestion, women, please, stop having so much confidence in the intellect of your men. Maybe your expectations can be lowered just a tad more. Maybe it doesn't even have to be that way, just change your communication. Instead of asking him a question, give him a request, it gets done a lot faster. Asking a man if he knows why there are so many flies in the kitchen instead of telling him to take the trash out on time is just opening up a can of worms, that goes on for hours without end. Next thing you know, you're talking about who is seeing the kids and when, claiming irreconcilable differences!

Say what you mean and want to a man and you get results, not ***crickets***. Women are really good at leading men up to a preconceived idea, it's what they do. The bring up a subject, so far from what they really want, next thing you know, you're building a patio in the back yard, and it was all your idea! See, women, you can have the same results, if you use the shiny star reward technique. Women! You can inspire a man to do great things, but you can also prevent that same man from achieving them!

Breaking down how a man listens

Loving vs. Living

Who wins? And can you even separate the two? Can you take away loving from living or living from loving? It is a two way street where both have to come and go, be given, be received, simultaneously. Love is like water, you need it to survive. It is detrimental to your health that you have it and if you sparsely give it or receive it, you begin to lose life itself. Ask yourself, which came first, Life or Love? Love or Life? Without love there could be no life and without life, love just could not be. Another question to ask yourself, what is your daily dosage of love to keep living, or your dosage of living to keep loving? In life, there needs to be a balance, enough trials to appreciate the victory, enough darkness to be victorious in the Light, and enough life to be overcome by the everlasting love that we so long for.

If you live without love, eventually, you will reach the end and in that end, here or there, love will conquer no matter what. Now am I saying that it does not matter, when I say "here or there" of course it matters, when we realize that we can have that Love here rather than there, why would we want to hesitate to grasp it? Why would we want to wait for it to grasp us? In fact, Love has already grasped us. We just haven't realized it. An emotion can come and go, you can be mad in one minute and forgive the next second, it never affects the reality of what Love is. Love stays with you, love endures, love is patient and love, as I love to put it, conquers all. No one can deny it and no one can overcome it, not even life itself. As temporary as life can be, it can be threatening and it can scare you to death or maybe even worse, to a standstill.

Life can never win without Love. We may think that life wins but it's Love that conquers in the end. In order to live, one has to be ready to die; for example, a seed has to die in the ground to begin to grow. Being fearful of what may come, you will never be able to function in the way of life. Now, think, how can one be fearful of Love? Can there be such a thing? There is a story of a soldier that was so afraid that he was paralyzed. His commanding officer told him, "Listen, soldier, in order to function in war, you must accept that you are already dead. Once you accept that, you will be able to be free and do the duty you were meant to do, here." We will never be able to function until we let go and let be. In order to step into that Love that life can bring, we must be be not afraid to lose that same life we have, because there...is where true freedom lies. Are you experiencing the Love that your life can truly bring and are you in that freedom? What do you think?

Loving vs. Living